BrownEyedBabe (angelchic1486) wrote in teen_testimony,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

New member!

Hi, my name is Laura...I'm 18 and I live in Michigan. I've always had a relationship with God but it was never number one until about 10th grade. Thought I'd share my's nothing spectacular but oh doesn't need to be!

Some people tell me I have the "perfect" life and they want to be just like me. They say this without realizing what I've gone through and they think everything is perfect with me. They don't know what I've gone through to get where I am today or how I got to where I am today. I grew up in a Catholic home and attended CCD up until 8th grade. I was baptized in the Catholic church and made my communion there. When it was time to make my confirmation, I decided that I did not want to be part of the Catholic church. This was a hard decision because I was stepping outside of everything I ever knew and some of my family members were disappointed and upset. But it was a decision I had to make. When I was in 7th Grade, I started going to a youth group that my neighbor invited me to. I knew it had helped him a lot when his brother committed suicide. Sometimes I wish that I would have had that kind of support for when that happened because it hurt me too. No one should ever have to deal with that kind of pain. No one should ever have to see another family get torn apart because of suicide. Anyways, in 8th grade I started hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. These people had nothing going for them and why I befriended them, I don't know. I was searching for my some sort of meaning of life and an identity for myself. I began drinking at age 14 which is really young. I began pushing all of my "good" friends away and I started arguing with my parents all the time. I wasn't trying my hardest in school. By the time freshman year rolled around, I was drinking a lot, even at the football games, I was lying to everyone including myself. I even pushed God out of my life. I was a complete wreck and really lost without even realizing it at the time. One day, my best friend and I decided we would skip school on a late start day. We walked to the bus stop so my mom wouldn't be suspicious then we walked to her house. We had our guy friend bring us alcohol and we all drank. We ended up getting caught and I ended up being grounded. That wasn't the only price I paid, I lost my so called "good" friends because I told the truth about what happened. I told my friends dad where she was and it cost us our friendship. At one point, I was getting death threats for no apparnt reason. I have always been a good person, never out there to harm anyone. I had to go to the school consleur about it, and that didn't help much. Eventually, I just cut off all ties with them and it was probably one of the best things I did. I started making friends with better people and I became myself again. At the end of freshman year, my friend invited me to her youth group. I didn't really like it at  first because they were all really clicky because they just got back from Mexico on a mission trip. My sophomore year, I began attending weekly and car pooling with a friend. I grew to love church and God each and every day. I had a hole in my heart and knowing God filled that hole. He was what was missing in my life. I went on a retreat that fall and I prayed the prayer to let Jesus Christ take control of me and my life. That is a decision I never regret making because sophomore and junior year were probably the best two years. I was so close to God and everything was going right. Senior year arrived and I was lost once again. I knew the only way I could solve the pain and confusion I was feeling was to pray and grow with God. Still, I pushed him away because I wanted to make my own decision. My life would have been a lot different the past year or so if I would have let Him control my life rather than me controlling it. I had guys interested in me which hadn't happened that often before so of course, I was all excited. I got all wrapped up in being with guys. I did things I never thought I would do, nothing that I regret and nothing horrible. I started forgetting about my needs and only thinking about what everyone else thought. I was really messing my life up. I made a decision to go to Costa Rica on a mission trip hoping to grow closer with God and turn my life around because I knew it wasn't going anywhere my way. Costa Rica changed me for the better and I grew so close to God and it made my walk with God even more amazing that it already has been. It made me realize that I only need Him to be happy. I don't need a guy, I just need God. Over the summer, I was dating the guy I've liked for 2 years and we ended up breaking up because I liked someone else. Turned out, I fell for a jerk who was everything in a guy that I thought I wanted but turned out to be everything that I've always been scared of. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I prayed to God every night for a miracle, I never got it. I did everything for him and I thought I was a good friend and girlfriend. Yet, I was lied to and played. I found out he dated me because he was bored and couldn't be with this other girl. All the things he told me were complete lies. I cried myself to sleep all the time when we were dating because I was so scared and lost. To this day, I find myself crying myself to sleep because I wish things could be different but I know in my heart, everything happens for a reason and God doesn't want us together, He doesn't want us to be friends because we aren't good for each other. Without God, I would not have realized how much better off I am without him. My ex boyfriend and I from over the summer are planning on getting back together eventually but I am still trying to get my life back on track and guys are the last thing on my mind. I am trying so hard to grow closer with God everyday because I have pushed Him so far away the past year it's ridiculous. He is the only one I need, He is my one true love. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I don't regret a thing. If I hadn't made all those mistakes, I would not have learned from them and I would not have gotten saved. I wouldn't be sititng here today wanting to spread the word of God to everyone I know. I would be so lost and confused if I didn't make that decision that one night to live a Christ-Like life and let Him take control of my life because His plan is so much bigger and better than mine. He is the truth. After everything, right now is when I need God more than ever. I am still hurting because of everything I've been through but I know now that I am going to be okay because of God and my friends. I am sorry that this is so long and drawn out. But do me a favor- pray for me that one day, hopefully soon, all my pain will be gone and that I will be as carefree and joyful as I once was back my junior year because back then, everything was perfect. I know it won't be the same, but I need to be at peace with myself and everything around me and I can only do that with God's help. Well...It's late and I'm off to bed. God Bless Everyone! <33


  • Post a new comment


    default userpic